Last weekend myLovelyParent was interviewed by The Times. It was in a feature called ‘Start your business the online way’. 

There was a great picture of me (Matt - myLovelyParent’s founder) and my rapidly growing beard. 

Part of the interview was about how to retain a work/life balance when building something like myLovelyParent from scratch. I thought I’d share some of my thinking which didn’t make the edit (which hopefully was a space issue rather than it being rubbish!): 

• It can be difficult, especially if your ‘office’ is in your living space. But be disciplined and give yourself time out. Visit friends. Go for a walk. Get a change of environment. 
• Change your working environment as often as you need it. If you feel you want to work in a coffee shop, do so. 
• Be strict with your time management. Be clear on what is urgent and important. Give those activities focus. 
• If you’re not sure what to do next or you’ve hit a dead-end, doing nothing can often be the best thing. Step back from the problem. Head out for a run, maybe do some gardening. Amazing how just 30 minutes not focussed on the problem can help shape the answer. 
• I’ve read a lot about taking meetings only if they’re critical to the immediate success of your business. I don’t agree. Meeting other people and hearing other perspectives gives you of a multi-dimensional view of the world around you and often your own business. 
• Listen to your friends who tell you as it is. They’re probably right.
• Don’t worry if it’s tough occasionally. It’s going to be. Believe in yourself and in what you’re doing. 
• Don’t be afraid of failing but make sure you get there as quickly and cheaply as possible. And if you do fail make sure you learn from your mistakes and iterate until you’ve something that can work. 

It’s a beautiful thing to see so many of you starting your mom/mum/dad’s profiles and I’m so happy to be part of it. Please do keep them coming and if you have any questions ever just get in touch. 

In the meantime I might take my own advice and head out for a run….

A couple of days ago I met with a journalist who was pulling together a guide of the ‘Best Online Dating Sites for Older People’.

She asked me what seemed like a very simple question “Other than myLovelyParent, which sites would you recommend?”. 

I paused for a while. Then a while longer. I realised that there was not one single other site I would recommend. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a really open chap who would happily talk about ‘competitors’.

Having spent the past year and a half learning the ins and outs of the online dating industry, meeting the owners of some of the biggest sites and hearing firsthand experiences from people who have joined them…there’s not one site I would recommend. In fact the opposite. I’d strongly advise them to do their homework and avoid them at all costs. 

I’ve written before about the serious lack of ethics involved in sites sharing profiles across others. 

But I also have huge concerns about the safety of many of the sites out there. 

People with ill intent is, sadly, something we see in all walks of life. Online dating is no exception - they’re given the title ‘scammers’. 

They attempt to join sites and build virtual relationships with people, only to then try and exploit them at a later date. On our site is more information about what to look out for and how to avoid them. 

And as you’d expect online safety is of paramount importance to me and therefore to myLovelyParent. We take exceptional steps to keep you safe on the site and to make sure scammers never even have the chance of joining. 

And why do we do this? 

For two reasons. Firstly because we want myLovelyParent to be one of the safest online dating sites there can be. And secondly because my own mum is on the site and she is one of the most precious people in my world. 

And how do we do this? 

One of the biggest differentiators of myLovelyParent (to almost any other online dating website) is the fact that each person’s profile is started by their son or daughter. Well, that and the fact a profile will only appear on the site once it has been manually checked and approved by the team (most sites will retrospectively check a profile if they’ve been reported by another member…which normally means they may have communicated with dozens of other people).

This means that we’re able to check two sets of information. 
Two different email addresses.
That both IP addresses are from where they say they are. 
The timings behind when each part of the profile was created. 
Two different styles of writing. 

And often just the fact a profile requires two steps, is enough to deter many scammers. 

There’s no doubt this requires more time investment from us and it certainly reduces the amount of ‘members’ we can claim to the media. 

But the exchange has to be worth it. I’m a huge believer that exceptional businesses are those that provide excellent service whilst retaining absolute integrity. 

And based on the first few months at myLovelyParent, it looks like we’re well en route to becoming one of those businesses.

In the meantime stay safe and please continue telling everyone you know about us! 

A few months ago we launched myLovelyParent. It had no members. Not one. Then Debbie joined. Then Anna. Then Mary. It was suddenly all beginning to get a little awkward. Three ladies and no men. Luckily then Paul joined. And then a few more chaps. And then a few more ladies. And, well, that’s how it all began. 

We’re now at a point where three thousand people have signed up to myLovelyParent.

We’ve heard from people who have found love, from people who have made a new friends. 

We’ve seen people signing up their mums and dads - some divorced, some widowed. Others have signed up mother-in-laws and step dads. There have been plenty of aunties and uncles too. We’ve even had best friends in their late 70s sign one another up (one using her iPad no less). 

It’s been brutally hard work getting the site off the ground but so, so worth it. 

If you have a single mum or dad and you think they’d like to meet someone new please head to myLovelyParent and start their profile. If you are a lovely parent then just ask a friend or relative to start it for you. 

Most of all, I hope you enjoy your myLovelyParent experience. 

Matt

A month ago I received a call from Catherine Eade. She told me she was a journalist for the Daily Mail (a British newspaper with a daily readership of over 4m people) and was keen to start her mum’s profile on myLovelyParent. And that she’d be writing about her experiences. 

Catherine told me she’d lost her father a few years back and was keen for her mum to have company in her life. Aside from a brief conversation with her mum, Virginia, I didn’t hear from either of them until I received a text from Catherine last week. 

She said to look out for a mention in the Daily Mail and in the Mail Online over the weekend. 

[You can read her full story here]

I thought it was stunning article and so different to my own journey of divorced parents. I also realised whilst reading it just how important a lifeline myLovelyParent can be for people and how special the entire journey is for both the ‘children’ and their parents. 

Here are a couple of extracts from the article that really stood out for me:

When he added Mum to his ‘likes’ and messaged her, we felt rather excited. Before long they were exchanging messages.

“One evening, I grinned as I read a message from Mum.

‘Just one more email tonight to let you know I have a good feeling about this. It’s early days, but I find myself somehow happier than I’ve been for years,’ she wrote.”

Then, one morning, I received an email from her entitled ‘Date!’ in which she excitedly told me that Tom had asked her out. She sounded like a teenager.

‘Tom rang and we are meeting for lunch on Monday! He sounds nice and seems easy to talk to. I’m excited. My first date for 52 years! What will I wear?’

Sadly it didn’t look like Tom was the one for Virginia but she recognises it’s still early days and now she’s taken the first step into the world of dating isn’t deterred. 

We of course wish her the best of luck. We’d also encourage any one with a single mum to start their profile at www.myLovelyParent.com and keep in touch with us as we’d love to hear your story too. 

And, if you have a single dad we’ve still a few spaces in our Older Gent Academy which will give him free lifetime membership too. 

As always please also help spread the word. It really means the world to us. 

Thanks, 

Matt & the team. 

It’s an incredible achievement. The website I set up to help my mum meet someone new has over 2,500 people signed up to it. 

We have mums and dads from all around the world. We’ve heard from a number of couples who have come together as a direct result. And we know of plenty more people have created new friendships. All very, very humbling stuff to hear. 

But we’re also at a tough place in our growth. And this is where we’d love some help. 

To give a little insight - behind the scenes of myLovelyParent is myself and another Matt. We’ve been working full time on the site for 15 months and 9 months respectively. Between us we answer each email that comes in, approve (or otherwise) each person’s profile and generally make sure everyone’s experience of myLovelyParent is as exceptional as possible. 

I say it’s a full time job but it’s much more. It’s a full time startup job. We work seven days a week and probably on average 16 hours a day. And all this for no pay.

Whilst much of our time is ‘running’ the site, half our it is spent working towards the future - speaking with journalists, creating campaigns, managing our social media, working on the product roadmap (what functionality we’re going to introduce, when) and pretty much doing anything that raises our profile. 

Our growth to date has come from a phenomenal amount of PR (which is good because we don’t have money to spend on marketing). We’ve been featured in the world’s leading newspapers - The Telegraph, Guardian, Independent, Chicago Tribune, interviewed across a whole host of radio stations around the world, and even appeared on Australian Breakfast TV and FOX News!

Whilst we had always hoped for this kind of coverage and couldn’t have reached such quick growth without it, we also realise the launch story is over. Journalists now want ‘success stories’ - stories of people heading on dates, falling in love, even getting re-married.  It’s the natural evolution when covering an online dating business.

And as I said earlier, we know people are meeting up through the site - we even recently wrote a blog post about Anna, one of our members who’d spent New Year’s Eve with a chap she met.

But we’re struggling to find anyone who has been on a date and is happy to talk to the media. In fact this is where the cheeky ask comes in. It’s an ask to all sons and daughters who have signed their parent up to the site; to all the mums and dads who have been part of the myLovelyParent journey and to all those who have met someone on the site…

…please, please, please do drop me a line if you’d be happy to chat with a journalist or two about your myLovelyParent experience. 

There’s absolutely no pressure to do so but it would mean the world to us and enable us to keep changing the lives of thousands of people around the world. 

Thank you, thank you. 

Matt

matt@myLovelyParent.com

As we have people on myLovelyParent from all around the world we thought it would only be right to feature one of our lovely mums from Canada. 

We caught up with her daughter Nelly and asked her how she heard about us, why she thought it would be right for her mum and what advice she would give to anyone else thinking of signing up their mum or dad:

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What’s your mum’s (first) name, how old is she and which part of the world does she live?

My lovely parent’s name is Lilia. She is 55 years old, and currently resides in Ottawa, the capital of Canada.

Tell us a little about her?

What’s the character limit for this question?! My mum’s a pretty interesting person, and one of the kindest people you’ll meet. She’s had a rather unusual life; growing up in what was then the U.S.S.R., marrying a foreigner, and living in various places around the world before we finally settled in Canada. She is very hospitable, always having a meal ready for those visiting our house, and will lend her ear to those seeking her advice or help. She is a very active, energetic and adventurous person, and the ultimate mother figure - a natural nurturer with a big heart and genuine desire to help those around her. Her passions shine when she is in the kitchen doing what she loves most, baking.

How did you hear about myLovelyParent and why did you sign her up?

I saw a tweet from the Guardian on Twitter a few months ago about a new dating website for parents. I curiously clicked to read the article, checked the beautiful website and decided to tweet @mylovelyparent to tell them that the idea was brilliant and I cannot wait for this service to be available in Canada. And this is why: When I read more about My Lovely Parent and its founder, Matt, his story about finding a partner for his mum instantly struck a chord with me. If he was anxious enough about her dating life to create a website that caters to this very niche group of online daters, then I was going to give his project a try and see if my mum can have a “happily ever after”.

I’ve always wanted mum to find someone to share her life with. She raised my sister and I by herself when we were both still in school, so I grew up watching her spend every waking minute and earned penny on our futures and education. That explained why she wasn’t really dating anyone, and focusing entirely on us instead. Now that we’re both adults taking care of ourselves independently, I felt that we should turn our attention to help her find someone great to share her life with. We are rather protective of our mum, and My Lovely Parent makes us comfortable with the idea that she can find someone online with our help. It’s not like other websites that send people to the dark and seedy corners of the Internet.

How did she react when she received the invitation?

She laughed and immediately asked me if there was a subsite called “my lovely kid”. Once she read through the site, she liked the idea of having a “co-pilot” when it came to navigating the world of online dating. She returned that same evening to create her profile, then asked me to check whether there were any typos or spelling mistakes.

What kind of person is she looking for and who do you think would make a good match?

I think my mum is looking for someone who shares similar interests and wants to experience his next stage of life with her. I think a person who approaches life with a sense of curiosity, has a positive outlook and appreciates the little things around will be a perfect match.

My mum is a friendly person, and likes to entertain and look after friends and family. Anyone who’s not interested in Christmas dinners, birthdays or family gatherings won’t be the right type.

But she’s also an active individual, who enjoys hiking, skating, swimming and other forms of outdoors activities, so her match would ideally enjoy the outdoors as much as she does. Honestly, we can hardly keep up with her sometimes.

What advice would you give to someone thinking of starting their own mum or dad’s profile?

I think before you create the profile or send an invite, you should approach your parent and bring up the idea of them looking for partners on the Internet. If they’re comfortable with this, then tell them about this great site that lets you help them find someone. If they’re uncomfortable navigating new websites or have some technical questions, offer your assistance in setting up their profile, adding a photo and deciding which top 5 qualities are most descriptive and genuine. Talk them through the questions the site asks, and help them look for the best ways to describe themselves. Those of us who had to talk about ourselves to strangers through bios, introductions and so on know how hard it is to summarize what makes you unique in a few sentences. Be patient and ready to answer their questions. Most importantly, be their personal cheerleader when they don’t feel particularly confident or hopeful.

—

Every week we plan to feature one of our members, written by their son or daughter. 

If you’d like to submit a story about your mum or dad please get in touch with us at hello@myLovelyParent.com. We’d love to hear from you. 

Happy Mother’s Day to all the lovely mums out there. Especially mine. 

xx

myLovelyParent is a website started by a chap called Matt. 

He wanted to help his own mum meet someone new. 

It was his way of saying thanks and telling her he loved her very much. 

To say thanks to your mum, start her profile before the end of the week and we’ll send her a ‘Thanks mum’ card. All for free.  

Oh and don’t forget…Mother’s Day is Sunday. This Sunday. 

When setting up myLovelyParent online safety was one of the most important things for me. After all my own mum would be using the site!! 

Earlier today I was asked to write 5 top tips to staying safe online. I thought I’d share them with you…

1. All relationships take time

Relationships take a while to develop. Go slow and enjoy your journey.

2. Keep personal information personal

Always be cautious about sharing information that could reveal your personal details. Don’t give out your email or phone number straight away and stay communicating within the site’s messaging system until a trusted relationship is formed.

3. Trust your instincts

If someone avoids giving out information about themselves, but asks you lots of questions, consider their motives. If someone is genuinely interested in you it will develop naturally. 

4. If something doesn’t seem right?

Stop all correspondence and tell the website and your friends. The most important thing is to keep yourself safe. 

5. That first meeting

Tell a friend and family member who you are meeting, exactly where you are going, what you plan to do and when you plan to return. Make sure it’s somewhere you feel comfortable and safe. 

—-

By trusting your instincts, using common sense and with due consideration your online journey should be an exciting and enjoyable experience. Millions of people of all ages use online dating to meet new friends and possibly a new partner. 

Saga Zone, Britain’s largest social network for over 50s, is closing its doors on the 26th February. 

There are many hundreds, if not thousands of people, who use the site every day to form social connections. People have met new friends and formed new relationships. I’ve even read a post from a lady saying she met her husband through the site. 

So why is it closing its doors? 

Saga are saying this is due to the ‘racist and offensive remarks’ members are posting and the negative association this has with the brand. Personally I don’t buy this. Surely Saga has the ability to moderate the site and to build controls to enable the community to report this kind of activity? 

From their launch back in 2006 they suffered problems. An ex-employee of Saga who was involved in the initial build says that Saga Zone was ‘full of security holes and got hacked mercilessly. Abuse and bullying were rife from the start’.

Their journey makes for a sad read. 

Something which started out with such ambition - a community brought together through digital, giving a necessary social lifeline to so many has in less that 10 years failed to keep pace with both technology and the needs of their members. 

And what more fitting an end to a poorly loved community than the recent announcement they’re simply turning off the site with no more than a couple of week’s notice.

So what’s to become of the hundreds and thousands of people who have been using Saga Zone? To all those connections? To all those people who have joined the site to make new companions? 

Of course we welcome each and every one to myLovelyParent. And yes, you’d expect we would of say that. But for some we also acknowledge we won’t be the right site. Yet for those who are single and looking to make new connections and meet new people, we just might. 

With hundreds of messages being exchanged each week and new people connecting every day, we’ve not had one report of negative behaviour. In fact quite the opposite - it is a community genuinely full of ‘lovely’ people.

But more than anything I just hope whichever website they decide to join, they chose somewhere that is safe, professional and has their best interests in mind. Sadly I’m not sure, other than mLP, I know any that exist.